Staring into the imploring eyes of the woman sitting across from me, I cringed. What she was asking was so beyond my comfort zone, I felt fear seep into every pore of my body.
Each January, I take a look back at what has been, what was good, what needed to be changed, and how to move forward. This year, I decided to receive a little astrological guidance from my sweet friend, Judith Royal, “Star Whisperer.”
Looking at my chart, she immediately began with, “This is great!” Then, dove into the sun and the moon, Venus hovering over Jupiter, Pluto hanging to the right and Mercury wreaking havoc with travel and contracts. As I got lost in the mumbo jumbo of the celestial beyond, I finally had to cut to the chase, “So, what does all that mean?”
Smiling, she answered. “Let’s look at your shadow. That’s the lesson you came here to learn, so you don’t keep repeating it in future lives.”
A few seconds later, she sighed, “Sadly, until you learn to speak your truth there’s no love life here.”
“What are you talking about? I speak the truth all the time. Just ask my kids.”
But, remembering how I constantly tell little white lies, I changed direction.
“If you’re saying I don’t tell people I love them, then that’s all wrong. I do.”
“What your shadow is showing is that you’ve been conditioned from birth to not say things that might be hurtful, you’ll be rejected for or may cause any disruption.”
Staring blankly, she added next, “Your chart shows there’s a special someone from long ago you need to talk to.”
Knowing immediately who she was talking about, I blurted, “I can’t do that! He’s got a girlfriend.”
“There’s that conditioning again,” she sighed. “Tell me, what would you do if you only had six days to live?”
Thinking how silly this conversation was becoming, I said in defiance, “But that’s not the case. I’m going to be around a long time.”
“You don’t know that.”
And, as her gaze became more intense, I shuttered, “I just can’t!”
“Yes, I get that, but you still should. Anytime we express love for another human soul, for whatever reason, that person becomes changed forever. They walk through life knowing they matter deeply to someone, even if you’re now worlds apart. It also frees the giver. We should never be afraid of the love we feel, or when to express it.”
Then, with sternest in her eyes, she added, “I’m giving you the biggest challenge of your life. I dare you to tell him. Right now you’re in perfect alignment with the universe.”
Driving home, I thought about her demand. Why was it always so easy to tell the world I loved it, but not this one person who altered the course of my life shortly after my divorce? It was through his friendship I learned about the woman I was meant to be, and what I needed in the next relationship. Because of him, I found the “me” that was once lost. Maybe she was right, time to step up to the plate.
So, Judith, I accept your challenge. Out from the shadow and into the light here I come, and no more flimsy excuses. After all, love is not something we should ever hide from anyone. In its purest form, it’s an emotion that lets another individual know they hold a place in your heart. Whether you’ve got six days or a lifetime, it’ll be a gift you’ll never regret sharing, no matter how scary in the moment it might feel.