Stories of a single mother raising four kids after her divorce while trying to reinvent herself, including dating again

Running Out of Time

With my head deep into the garbage can at the local 76 gas station and my rear end poised high in the air,  I let out a wail. “Crap! How could I be so stupid? I don’t have time for this!” (Note to self: never hold credit cards in the same hand as trash.)

Pulling myself out unsuccessful, I turned to see a distinguished, bearded Indian man (complete with turban) staring wide-eyed. While he’d likely seen others go dumpster diving looking for cans and bottles […]

A Powerful Tool

As my mother’s voice urged me to give up something I desperately wanted, my three-year-old mind felt like screaming. For some strange reason, because my cousin was an only child, and I was blessed with several brothers, I was to take a back seat so she could have her way—once again.

The year was 1955, and Disneyland had just opened in Anaheim, California. With our parents leading the way, my older brother David, my cousin Sally, and I were one of the first families to […]

Remain Forever

Life is meant for dancing

After three weeks of isolation, today I finally lost it. Not because of the lockdown with no one to talk to or because my freedom’s been taken away. Not because I haven’t seen my four kids since this all began or that I won’t be in Austin for the birth of my second grandson as once planned. And, while the enormity of lives lost due to this pandemic is enough to create a meltdown in all of us, today it […]

Just a Mom

In one of those rare but still problematic moments of self-doubt, I sobbed on the phone to my insightful life coach, Adrienne Abeyta, about my latest worry. Adrienne and I had been working together for months and, oh, the doors she’s unlocked. But this latest concern seemed to have a dead bolt that wouldn’t budge.

 

“When I die, I want to be remembered as more than just a mom,” I explained, blubbering.

After allowing me to wail for a moment or two, she gently interjected, “So, […]

How Will I Know?

As I perused the lineup of eligible bachelors on my computer, many looking like they were the latest parolee from the local prison, I sighed. “Getting back out there,” as my kids liked to call it, in my sixties was nothing short of a major struggle, and at times a little frightening.

Two years after my husband and I separated in 2001, my daughters decided it was time for me to start dating. Still feeling rejected and unsure of myself, I would have preferred to […]

Feelings aren’t Facts

As I walked by my bedroom, I noticed my mother doing something that made me stop and stare. With fingers strategically place on her forehead and cheeks, she tugged at the sagging skin as she examined her reflection in the mirror. In my sixteen-year-old mind, I thought, How strange. So, I asked as only a teenager would, “What the hell are you doing?”

Startled at being caught, she quickly leaned back and replied, “Nothing.”

“Mom, you were pulling at your skin,” I persisted. “Is everything alright?”

After […]