In the early days of single motherhood, I wallowed in self pity. Life felt brutally unfair and agonizingly heavy as I faced a vast array of daily problems by myself. Thoughts of over dosing on my dying mother’s narcotics seemed like the perfect solution to the hell I was living. I was a mess and no good to anyone, especially myself.
I wanted to stay positive for my children, but I found it exhausting. Crying jags and screaming at the walls were a much better way to release pent up frustration than smiling and pretending to be chipper. It was much easier to live in doom and gloom.
As the weeks flowed into months, I found that the more negative energy I emitted into the universe,the more that was sent back, which ultimately slapped me across the face. I became a magnet for all that was dark and depressing. It was time I made a change.
One morning, I read a spiritual message from www.Beliefnet.com. It talked about choice – the ability to make things happen in our lives by the road we take. We all know that we are allowed to choose our lifestyle, jobs and education. We get to decide what we want to wear, how to style our hair and who to choose as friends, along with those we pick to love. But I think we tend to forget that we’re also given the opportunity, from the moment we get out of bed, to decide how we want to attack our day. Do we greet our morning with a smile or frown? Do we embrace all that is rich and good or focus on what is miserable.
On that particular day, I realized I not only had control, but the power as well to make my life something special or to turn it into a failure. It was completely up to me to decide.
Of course, raising four children by one’s self is a difficult task, but I soon began to see it as an opportunity for me be the type of mother I always wanted to be. Co-parenting can be extremely difficult task when it’s faced with opposing views. Parents need to be a united front when raising productive members of society.
I also saw that my new world was presenting me with incredible opportunities to explore interests and passions that belonged to me alone. I now could decide if and when – where, how or why. I took what at first felt like a road block and turned it into a magical fork in the road that led me to new and wonderful places.
Life is never going to be easy, but the bottom line is it is a gift and it’s up us to let it unwrap beautifully everyday. By keeping positive energy flowing in our veins, we become the creators of our universe. We also become a bright beacon of light that emits positive energy. This in turn draws wonderful things in our direction.
How do you want to live your days?