Stories of a single mother raising four kids after her divorce while trying to reinvent herself, including dating again

Just a Mom

In one of those rare but still problematic moments of self-doubt, I sobbed on the phone to my insightful life coach, Adrienne Abeyta, about my latest worry. Adrienne and I had been working together for months and, oh, the doors she’s unlocked. But this latest concern seemed to have a dead bolt that wouldn’t budge.

 

“When I die, I want to be remembered as more than just a mom,” I explained, blubbering.

After allowing me to wail for a moment or two, she gently interjected, “So, […]

How Will I Know?

As I perused the lineup of eligible bachelors on my computer, many looking like they were the latest parolee from the local prison, I sighed. “Getting back out there,” as my kids liked to call it, in my sixties was nothing short of a major struggle, and at times a little frightening.

Two years after my husband and I separated in 2001, my daughters decided it was time for me to start dating. Still feeling rejected and unsure of myself, I would have preferred to […]

Feelings aren’t Facts

As I walked by my bedroom, I noticed my mother doing something that made me stop and stare. With fingers strategically place on her forehead and cheeks, she tugged at the sagging skin as she examined her reflection in the mirror. In my sixteen-year-old mind, I thought, How strange. So, I asked as only a teenager would, “What the hell are you doing?”

Startled at being caught, she quickly leaned back and replied, “Nothing.”

“Mom, you were pulling at your skin,” I persisted. “Is everything alright?”

After […]

Counting Steps

With my iPhone securely in hand and music gently swirling through my ears, I made the trek to the Rancho San Antonio hiking trails for my daily 10,000 steps. Soaking in the beauty of nature, I walked at a fast clip, up the steep trails, back down again, and finally reaching an expansive meadow. Proud of the sweat dripping down my face, I checked the health app on my phone to see how far I’d gone past my goal.

Crap! I’ve only walked 8,000 steps. […]

Dusting Off My Internal GPS

After an all-day excursion exploring San Diego County, it was time to return to the home I was house sitting for the weekend. Knowing I’m a woman with no sense
of direction, I pulled out my phone, entered the address, and waited for the English voice of Nigel from Google Maps to begin directing me.

In 600 feet, take Highway 5 South to San Diego and travel 20 miles.

 I began my journey, confident that Nigel would get me there.

Then I heard, In one mile, take the […]

A Mother’s Birthright

 

Tiptoeing into our hotel room just past 1:00 am, with her Betty Davis hazel eyes sparkling brightly, my daughter Jenni instantly became confused when I had an explosive “Mommy moment.”

“Where in the hell have you been!” I yelled. Just like back in high school when she’d missed her curfew, I was furious. “This is Mexico, for God’s sake. Something bad could have happened to you and I wouldn’t know it.”

Lifting up my cell phone and waving it wildly in her face, I continued, […]