Locked Doors

Locked Doors

"Are you out of your mind?" a close girlfriend yelled at me.

"What's the problem?" I answered, somewhat confused.

With her arms firmly crossed over her chest, Linda looked defiantly into my face and said, "You're all alone now. You have to start locking your doors!"

LOCK MY DOORS? I thought to myself. When was the last time I ever did that?

From the time I was twenty-years-old and on my own in San Francisco in the mid-1970's, I learned I would always need an alternate route to the inside of my domain. That meant leaving some entrance slightly ajar. I was constantly losing my keys. Back then, my doors may have been secured tight, but not my windows. Coming home at three o'clock in the morning with no way in was not a good thing.

When my children arrived on the scene, there were constant demands made by my mighty midgets and I could never get to the front door fast enough for their liking. But then, how could any adult while carrying ten bags of groceries, a diaper bag, all the toys and clothing left behind in the car, plus some trash? Rather than let them disturb the neighbors as they wailed that they wanted in the house, an open door created peace and harmony - plus sanity for me.

In the teenage years, our home became the place to hang out. To facilitate ease and freedom, the entrance acted just like the revolving door at Bloomingdale's in New York City. Round and round it rotated as children let themselves in and back out again. There were no knocks, no bells ringing, just a wide swing of the wooden plank and the pitter patter of young adolescent feet on their way to the rumpus room upstairs - with the usual shouts of, "Hi Jackie, we're here'

Unfortunately, today we live in an untrusting society and rightfully so. With all the crime in the streets, I now it's foolish for me to continue to being so cavalier. Recently, I experienced  an eye opening situation as I left my part-time job at the YMCA teaching my morning aerobic class. Upon climbing into my black Tahoe SUV, I sensed something was wrong. On the dashboard, a note had been left. It was a "to-do" list: go to the grocery store, pick up the dry cleaning, etc., etc., etc. I panicked. Who's been in my car? Who wants me to do these things? It was as if my personal space had been violated.

My hand shaking, I tried to put the key into the ignition, but for some reason it did not fit. Taking a deep breath I tried again, but to no avail. Then it hit me. OOPS! This isn't my car!

It looked just like it. Same color, same style and it was left open just like I always do, but it was way too clean. Sheepishly, I crawled out and looked around to see  if anyone was watching me before I slithered away. How embarrassing! I laughed to myself.

Finding my car, after walking the parking lot for several minutes, I climbed aboard. Easily the ignition turned on. Staring out the window, I began to think of all the opportunities that have come into my life due to an unlocked door. This look-a-like black Chevy Tahoe I mistook for mine started my day with a giggle and a new story to tell.  And as for the front door to my house? Well, that has provided years of fun and security for my children and all their friends.

By allowing free access to my home, they had a safe haven to go to. A place to hang out, eat candy and drink sodas, tell their secrets, and in the later years - a place to sober up so they wouldn't put their lives (or someone else's) in jeopardy. No alcohol or drugs were allowed in my home, but no child was turned away if they found themselves in a precarious situation after a night out with the gang.

For me, it gave me inside information and great dirt for bribery purposes. It's amazing what teenagers will say when they don't know an adult is listening. While they were upstairs talking freely, I was hanging out below listening to their every word. I love surprises, but not where my kids are concerned. I always knew what was going on.

Unlocked doors can also be found in your heart and mind. When they're open, you're not afraid to try new experiences, meet different people, be open to innovated information, even fall in love. Think back to the times logic or your protected emotions said, "NO," but you threw caution to the wind and ended up having the time of your life.

While we do need to take safety measures to protect ourselves from physical danger (and yes, I do lock my front door more these days), I have decided at this point in my life to throw the key away when it helps me to experience life's riches.

No matter how old any of us are, we've been given an amazing gift called life and it's up to us to enjoy it.

What keys do you need to throw away?